Why you should not become a scientist

Here is one of the enduring msteries of the universe - how come there are so many scientists, given that scientists never get laid?  

Let us examine this strange fact.

First, it is well established that scientists do not have sex.  Nobody wants to shag them, not even other scientists.  Countless controlled,peer-reviewed studies have shown this, over decades.  If you fancy a small scientific experiment, try this chat-up line with the next girl you meet in the pub:

'Good evening young lady.  I couldn't help noticing from across the room (with my highly trained ubermensch-scientist night vision) that your hip-to-waist ratio is perfect for breeding purposes.  Additionally, your skin-tone speaks well of your general good health, and, in the circumstances, I feel obliged to recommend a small sojourn at my bed-lab for the purpose of exploring the many potential uses of Agar jelly'.

MG does not recommend this approach with persons of the gentler gender...

So we can see why scientists never get laid.  How can it be that there are so many of them?   They cannot be created by God, given that God doesn't exist.  Even if he did, why would he create beings who don't believe and would not worship?  They must, therefore arise spontaneously from nothing (see the section on Higgs Boson).

Hmm...On further reflection, the idea of a bed-lab sounds quite horny...